Litigation vs. Mediation: A Comparison

A clearer path toward your Marital Settlement Agreement and Joint Parenting Plan

When couples begin exploring their divorce options, they’re often surprised by how different the experience can be depending on the path they choose. Two of the most common approaches

the same ultimate goal: a finalized Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) and, if children are involved, a Joint Parenting Plan (JPP).

But the similarities end there. The process, cost, tone, and level of control you each maintain are dramatically different. This article breaks down those differences so you can make the decision that best supports your family’s future.

This article breaks down those differences so you can make the decision that best supports your family’s future.

What Is Litigation?

A process built around attorneys advocating for each spouse

In a litigated divorce, each spouse hires their own attorney. Those attorneys communicate, negotiate, and—if necessary—fight on your behalf. The process can include:

• Letters exchanged between attorneys

• Case management hearings

• Motions filed in court

• Formal discovery (financial document requests, interrogatories, depositions)

• Court appearances

• Settlement conferences

• And, if settlement fails, a trial

  
  

In other words, you delegate the negotiation of your MSA and JPP to attorneys. You speak through them; they advocate for your position; and the rhythm of the process is largely dictated by the court’s schedule.

Pros of Litigation

• Helpful when one spouse refuses to provide financial information

• Necessary when there is ongoing domestic violence or safety concerns

• Attorneys handle all communication

  
  

Cons of Litigation

• Significantly more expensive

• Slower—often taking 12–24 months or more

• Adversarial by design

• Reduces personal control over outcomes

• Increases emotional strain on the family

• Negotiation happens through attorneys, not directly between you

What Is Mediation?

A collaborative process with an experienced, neutral facilitator

Mediation takes a very different approach.

Instead of delegating negotiation to attorneys, you and your spouse sit down together with a neutral, skilled mediator who guides you through each decision needed for your MSA and JPP. The mediator helps you:

• Clarify goals and interests

• Understand the legal and practical issues you must address

• Explore options

• Work through disagreements productively

• Build durable agreements that make sense for your family

  
  

You maintain control of the process, the pace, and the final decisions. Attorneys can still advise each of you outside the mediation sessions—but the conversations happen together, with transparency, and without escalating conflict.

Pros of Mediation

• Far more cost-effective than litigation

• Typically much faster—often 4–12 weeks

• Private and confidential

• Couples maintain full decision-making authority

• Focuses on respect, clarity, and long-term family well-being

• Minimizes conflict and future co-parenting strain

Cons of Mediation

• Not ideal when one party refuses to participate in good faith

• Not appropriate in situations involving ongoing abuse or intimidation

• Requires both spouses to be willing to communicate in some capacity

The Core Difference: Who Negotiates Your Agreements?

The heart of the divergence between litigation and mediation comes down to who is doing the negotiating.

Litigation:

You hand the negotiation of your Marital Settlement Agreement and Joint Parenting Plan over to attorneys who advocate for each side.

Mediation:

You and your spouse negotiate your agreements together with the support of a neutral third party trained to keep the conversation productive, balanced, and forward-focused.

This difference shapes everything: cost, length of the process, emotional strain, and the quality of your future co-parenting relationship.

Which Is Right for Your Family?

Every family’s situation is unique. Litigation may be necessary in some cases, but for many couples—especially those who value cooperation, transparency, and long-term stability—mediation offers a clearer, calmer, and more efficient path forward.

At Lighthouse Mediation, we help couples build agreements that are thoughtful, durable, and tailored to the needs of their children and finances. If you’re considering divorce and want a process rooted in respect rather than conflict, mediation may be the right next step.

If you’d like help evaluating your options, I’m here. You can schedule a free consultation anytime.