Question 1

What is divorce mediation?

Accepted Answer

Divorce mediation is a process where a neutral third party, the mediator, helps divorcing couples reach an agreement on various aspects of their separation, including property division, maintenance, parenting time, and decision-making for minor children.

Question 2

How does mediation differ from going to court?

Accepted Answer

Mediation is typically less adversarial, more cost-effective, and faster than litigation. It focuses on collaboration and finding mutually acceptable solutions.

Question 3

Who can benefit from divorce mediation?

Accepted Answer

Any couple looking to resolve their divorce disputes without going to court can benefit from mediation. This is true whether your situation is amicable or high conflict (or somewhere in between). It's especially helpful for those who want to maintain a civil relationship post-divorce, such as co-parents.

Question 4

What do we need to resolve in order to move forward with our divorce?

Accepted Answer

The issues that generally need to be resolved in a divorce are:

Allocation of parenting time if you have minor children (i.e. when the kids will be with each parent)
Allocation of decision making if you have minor children
Division of assets
Division of debts
Maintenance (formerly called alimony)

There are sub-topics in many of these categories. For example, parenting time decisions needs to include how holidays and school breaks will be handled if different from your regular schedule. Decision-making is generally divided into the four categories of education, medical, extracurricular, and religion.

Working with Lighthouse, we will help you discuss and resolve an exhaustive list of matters to establish a parenting plan and marital settlement agreement that will allow you minimize your conflict, legal costs, and time in court.

Question 5

How do we start the mediation process?

Accepted Answer

To start the process, schedule a free initial consultation. During this meeting, we will discuss your situation, explain the mediation process in detail, and answer any questions you may have.

Question 6

Do my partner and I each schedule separate 15-minute consultations?

Accepted Answer

This is up to the two of you. If you are able to conduct the consultation together, that's ideal so that you are both hearing exactly the same information and answers to your questions. However, we understand that you might want to do so separately.

Remember that it is important for the mediator maintain both actual neutrality as well as the appearance of neutrality. Even if he remains neutral, the process doesn't work if either partner doesn't feel confident that he is neutral.

Question 7

How long does the mediation process take?

Accepted Answer

The duration varies depending on the complexity of the issues and the willingness of the parties to cooperate. It can take anywhere from a few sessions to several months.

Question 8

What happens during a mediation session?

Accepted Answer

During a session, both parties discuss their issues and work towards a mutually agreeable solution with the mediator's guidance. The mediator ensures that both parties have a chance to speak and be heard.

This can be set up where both parties are meeting with the mediator together or the parties are in separate rooms with the mediator going back and forth. If attorneys are participating, the parties will most likely be in separate rooms.

Check out our What to Expect page to learn more.

Question 9

Is everything discussed in mediation confidential?

Accepted Answer

Yes, mediation is a confidential process. Discussions and agreements made during mediation cannot be used as evidence in court if mediation does not result in a settlement.

Question 10

What if we cannot agree on certain issues?

Accepted Answer

We will work hard to find an agreement. However, sometimes that is just not possible. If an agreement cannot be reached on all issues, you can still proceed to court for those unresolved matters. However, mediation often helps narrow down the disputed issues, making the court process shorter and less contentious.

Question 11

Do we need to hire attorneys if we are using mediation?

Accepted Answer

While it's not required, it is often advisable for each party to have their own attorney to provide legal advice and review the final agreement.

Question 12

How much does mediation cost?

Accepted Answer

Costs can vary based on the length of the process. Mediation is generally more cost-effective than litigation.

Question 13

Can we mediate if we have a high-conflict relationship?

Accepted Answer

Yes, we are skilled at handling high-conflict situations and can help manage emotions and communication to facilitate productive discussions.

Learn more on our High Conflict page.

Question 14

What happens after we reach an agreement in mediation?

Accepted Answer

We will create a document outlining the agreed terms. This document can then be reviewed by your attorneys, and a final agreement submitted to the court for approval.

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